Other Good Things You Can Do In An Apron

Have I got a side dish for you...

Okay, you need a can of Pringles. You can pick the flavors, my preferences are for the Sour Cream and Chives and the regular, though the Pizza isn't too bad. The bacon and ranch flavor prompted pizza orders, but that may be an idiosyncratic thing, and personally I haven't had the guts to try the cheesy stuff. Low fat Pringles are bad. They don't rehydrate very well.

You also need margarine, and you can use some milk if you like, but basically the object is to put Pringles and water together and get mashed potatoes. Too much milk makes it weird, and we rarely have anything but the canned stuff on hand anyway, so we don't bother here.

Immediately I must caution you not to save the leftovers. Potato flake leftovers can be saved for a couple of days if you refrigerate them immediately in a tightly sealed container. But they do breed a nasty bacteria at room temperature, so it's really best if you don't do it too often. I don't know if the same holds true for Pringles, since they are cooked in the factory rather than just dehydrated, but really, why risk it, and they get way too weird when you reheat them anyway.

So, boil some water, and crush your Pringles. I've got one of those jar-and-blade chopping things that are designed for nuts and the like. You don't want them powdered, so I'd probably avoid the coffee mill. Really, you could put them in a cake pan and put another cake pan in on top of them and crush them that way, it gets you a decent size to work with, or you could go over them lightly with a rolling pin, which is what I do if I've got an audience because there's apparently just something inherently humorous about a rolling pin.

You'll need about a quarter cup of water for every ten Pringles, more or less depending on how crunchy you want them. A can of Pringles is about ninety chips or crisps or whatever they call them, and to be honest half of that is a good size side dish for three people. So, about two and a half cups of boiling water for the whole can, you can do the rest of the math on your own.

And the water must be boiling. Because it's going to take a while for the chips to rehydrate, usually about fifteen to twenty minutes with some stirring. I like to make them in a thermos to keep them hot. I suppose if you'd rather you could just pop them in the microwave to reheat them once they're the right consistency.

Add a little margarine to taste. Proper Pringles Mashed Potatoes should still be a bit crunchy. You can sprinkle chives on top, or parsley flakes, or you can add sour cream or whatever, it's entirely up to you. I like to add parsley and pimentos on top for a little color, it's very festive.

The first time you do this with new victims, you don't want an audience. Because this is an opportunity that will not be repeated: Your diners will surely ask you what's up with the mashed potatoes. This is your chance to admit, somewhat hesitantly, that you were afraid they might come out a little salty/crunchy, and you're sorry about that, but "Well, I forgot to get the potatoes."

This is a fabulous comedic moment, not to be missed. If you can time it right, you want to give a little space between the "thought it might be salty" and the "forgot the potatoes" for your diners to all thoughtfully take another bite so they can agree with your verdict. I promise you, you will enjoy the reaction. At least if you've had the foresight to lean back a bit.

They'll probably get used to it, eventually. In my home, Pringles Mashed Potatoes counts as a good solid side, often served with meatloaf. I don't have a horrifying meatloaf recipe, so you're off the hook. But next time, dessert!