Briefly, anyway.
Whenever I hear the GOP talk about bipartisanship, rationality filters kick in and this is how it comes out:
"Look, I know I wrecked your car and forged your name to get all your money out of your retirement fund and sold all your furniture for drugs and called your neighbors fags and threw all my trash on their lawn and stole all your prescription pills and got you fired and cheated on you and called you fat and shredded that wedding picture of your mom and dad, but... Listen, I really need a place to stay, and I swear I'll sleep on the couch, okay? Come on, you owe me! If you hadn't told her about the herpes, your sister would never have thrown me out!"
Am I alone in thinking this is the driving force behind Unity '08 as well?
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7 comments:
Now THAT is not just entertaining, THAT is hilarious.
Thanks!
mikey
I hope that you do not mind that I posted a link to this brilliant analysis on the I Blame The Patriarchy Forum.
It suddenly occurred to me that I should have asked first.
I'm sure I mentioned this months ago, I should probably put it somewhere prominent.
I have a longstanding if-you-want-it-take-it policy. Anyone who wants to quote me in any context is free to do so, and anyone who wants to take credit/blame for anything I wrote is free to do so also.
No rights reserved, as they say. I wrote it, and that's all I ever wanted to do with it.
You are always free to link to me, to quote me with or without linking or attribution, to agree with, disagree with, or mock anything I've said. I also encourage plagiarism.
To whatever extent permission is necessary, consider it granted.
September 30, 2007
just randomly clicked over from corndog's, but that's so hilarious, i'll have to come back!
I imagine you've already seen this squid-related
bit of papercraft from Flying Pig. I'll be ordering a copy soon (as soon as I can remember the password on my PayPal account) -- will send a report.
Warren Ellis did a version of this a few years back:
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WARREN ELLIS
bad signal
I'm sorry I came in your shoes.
I'm sorry I hung your teddy bear from the light fitting and then pointed the anglepoise lamp at it
so the first thing you saw when you came home was little Bear Paws swinging from his noose in silhouette on the wall.
I'm sorry about that thing with your chinchilla and the bellows. But I have to point out that it was me who wiped everything off the wallpaper, and your sister did get the fur out of her teeth.
I'm sorry I pissed in the steam iron.
I'm sorry about putting that half a horse from the road accident in the back of your car. But in my defense I thought you might, I dunno, find it useful for something.
I'm sorry I left that half a horse in the back of your car for two weeks.
I'm sorry about your mother almost choking to death on the condom, though I still don't think it was my fault.
I'm sorry about your mother almost choking to death on the used condom a month later. That might have been my fault, yeah.
I'm sorry I pissed in the washing machine.
I'm sorry about that whole thing with the harpoon gun, the fishing line and the, you know, the string of dogs.
I'm sorry I made you help me stand the dogs in line.
I'm sorry I threw up in the carrot bread mix and didn't tell anyone.
I'm sorry about exploding those frogs with your drinking straws and then putting them back in the drawer without telling you. Or rinsing them.
I'm sorry I pissed in your sister. ON your sister. On. Really. On your sister.
I'm sorry about all these things, and anything else you can think of, and I really really love you and I want you to take me back.
And, um. I'm sorry the back of your house is on fire.
(c) Warren Ellis 2004
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Jumping off from the old definition of democracy as two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for dinner (often misattributed to Ben Franklin), I'd say that Unity '08 is the lamb approaching the wolves to find common ground as mammals.
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