Okay, between the migraines and the paranoia, I'm not the target audience for fireworks. I admit that. Growing up, getting stung by bees seemed like just something you had to put up with in summer, but burning yourself on a sparkler? That's just evidence you're an idiot. So, yeah, fireworks, not my thing.
But assuming you are totally into things that go bang and shit, I do have to wonder about the mindset of some of our neighbors. Two fire trucks go screaming by? Maybe you should put down the fireworks for, say, twenty minutes, just to not jinx yourself. Because, really? You're that secure in the mercy of your loving god? Even if I thought my gods were totally cool with everything I had ever done--which no one who believes in a deity should be--I'm not that convinced they don't enjoy a little entertainment enough to fuck with a fuse at that point. If you watched someone fall off a cliff, wouldn't you take a few steps backwards? Wouldn't you grab your kids and pull them back too? Apparently there's a stupid cluster in my neighborhood, I don't know. Something in the coffee.
And even if you lived in a world entirely free of irony, wouldn't common fucking sense say "Hey, the fire department is busy right now putting out some other idiot's fire. Maybe I should wait till they're back at the department before I risk having a house fire of my own." You are always risking that they are too busy to get to you fast, but in this case you know for a fact that this is the case... and you pull out the lighter anyway.
You know what? Maybe Darwin was wrong after all.
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